Daddy looks good on you! Didn’t think anything could make me love you more but seeing you with our son has elevated a love that was already over the moon. I love watching you experiencing your newfound fatherhood. You were already a great stepfather but now you have one more to call your own from the very start. I didn’t plan on having any more children but experiencing every moment of this pregnancy with you, you being there to support me throughout the labor, and stepping 100% into an unknown territory with a newborn has been absolutely worth it. I cannot wait to see how you grow in this new role in your life and I feel blessed to be taking this journey with you. Baby planning has concluded! He’s here! So back to this wedding planning that we put on hold! Lol Love you, honey!
Archives for November 2016
Where is Ryan Gossling when you need him? Yesterday was absolutely exhausting from the early wake up to slave over the stove from about 8AM until 2:30PM, the washing of dishes in between each prep of a dish, the waiting game for everyone to show, finally sitting down to eat, remaining social, and THEN having to clean up once again following the festivities…OH, and did I forget to mention then having to sit up with a newborn? Last night was the first night that the first tier of stress was hit. I was lucky that my mother was here and happened to be up during my midnight run to the refrigerator to procure a bottle of breastmilk. She asked if I wanted her to take the baby and I was like OMG yes!
My first Thanksgiving as hostess was a success. I wish that my love had been able to participate but unfortunately he had to work. I put a plate aside for him like a good future wifey. Black Friday, however, is for recuperation. #exhausted
Have you found that the people that you love the most are the ones that hurt you the deepest without any effort at all? Even without the intention to do so? One cross look or sharp word, change in tone, or misinterpretation can absolutely break your heart. Anyone else could approach you in exactly the same manner and it doesn’t even cause a stir. You don’t give it a second thought. Your sensitivity level is heightened by that one individual and it sucks to realize that someone has that much of a hold over you. Why care so much?
My mother always used to tell me that whatever behaviors you exhibited to get someone you have to maintain them in order to keep them. So if you were getting up late at night and creeping out to see them don’t expect that it will change when you enter a relationship. If you were catering to every whim you will have to continue to do so. When you stop doing the things that you did in the beginning that is where the problems begin to manifest. If the other person stops doing the things that they did to capture your attention in the first place you’ve got to ask why. What changed? What is causing the shift? Good or bad there is a catalyst.
A lot has changed for the better. It has evolved. It’s beautiful. However a lot has shifted and it’s troublesome and questionable and it’s painful. A lot of the shift occurred early on and I didn’t want to acknowledge it or didn’t think that it would be that big of a deal. It’s the little things that add up though. They turn into bigger things that become all too much.
How badly do you want to keep(H)er? The push and the pull. The bumps and the bruises. The jabs. The punches. The crushed egos and the shattered facades. Through all of the turmoil how badly do you want to keep(H)er? The sleepless nights. Bunking on the couch. Silent car rides. The bills, family interjections, habitual “line-stepping” and unflattering storms of tears over countless amounts of years. How badly do you want that KEEPER? To KEEP HER?
You see through all the negative talk, the easy ways out, the I can’t take another second of your lack of understanding and talking over me when I’m trying to explain to you how I feel…are happy days and laughing faces and tiny smiles and dreamy eyes. The no one else has ever made me feel this way or made me feel so at ease where I can just be me. With you I can just be me…
I don’t need the makeup or the labels or the etiquette or to hold myself just so. I can laugh. Loudly. Obnoxiously. Burp. Trip and fall and through those dysfunctional non-attractive things do you still want to keep me?
When you’re rude and insensitive and overbearing. Shut off and disconnected. ALWAYS RIGHT and blind to the opinions of anyone that doesn’t agree. Frightening.
Do I still want to keep you? Are you still a keeper? When it’s both ugly and twisted and beautiful and amazing?
I hate how much you nurture my heart yet continue to break it so easily.
The topic on the wagging tongues of the populace is the current state of our nation and how it will (or will not) be changed by our president elect, Donald Trump. So many are confused as to how something like this could have occurred. How could a man like Donald Trump – someone that appears to embody so many of the negative aspects of our country – become POTUS? I, personally, am not shocked by it. I was not an avid supporter of either candidate and I will openly admit this. I think that we could have done better with who we chose as both democratic and republican candidates but at the end of the day that is neither here nor there. Who we supported no longer truly matters because the votes are in and the people have spoken whether it was through the collective vote, the electoral college, or through our silence.
So many were silent. It’s record breaking on how many people – we millenials – that just
chose NOT to vote at all. Was it because we felt that our votes did not count? Was it because we thought that America would do the right thing with or without our assistance? Whatever the reason may have been from person to person WE collectively did not turn out and even if we had we don’t know if the ending result would have been the same. My social media group was split right down the middle between supporters of Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. If everyone had turned out I doubt there would have been a stale mate or an overwhelming shift for one candidate or the other – once again, this is just my personal opinion and I’m not making excuses but the country seemed pretty equally divided on this vote.
What is throwing me off though is all of the disdain that Clinton vs Trump supporters have for one another. All I see on Facebook nowadays is the clash of the titans and written attacks against one group. People that are upset by the results of these elections are actively protesting and because that is how they choose to express their dissatisfaction with what has occurred they are labeled babies and whiners and are told that they need to get over it because they are clearly sore losers. It’s interesting to me because granted there was no coverage of huge riots or protests in the streets following the election of Barack Obama to POTUS half of the nation DID NOT just get over it because the popular vote had swung in his direction. If you think otherwise then just look back at the last eight years and how everything that Obama tried to put into place was challenged. Hell, do we recall Congress shutting down? No? No one?
With that being said I think that we all need to take a deep breath and come back to reality. The POTUS cannot make a move without the support of congress. There are checks and balances at every level and really the POTUS is a figure head. He’s the face of a much larger group. Your concerns should be in the individuals that each state elects into the prestigious seats of our legislation. THESE are the individuals that hold the power.
Be angry. Don’t be angry. Celebrate. Mourn. Choose your coping mechanism but be kind to one another. You’ll still get up every day and function. You will still support your families. The people that were in your lives before will ultimately remain and if they don’t then they weren’t really your friends anyway. You are entitled to have a different view than someone else. You are entitled to express yourself but the attacks? It’s unnecessary.
I understand the fear that so many have due to the way that this election has turned out. People will always find a way to manipulate a situation to their advantage and there are a lot out there that now feel like they can say or do anything to anyone without repercussion. A lot are acting on that belief system like there is a new world order. I’ve questioned myself on bringing new life into this current state but that’s not just “Trump Induced” it’s something that I’ve worried about for years with each pregnancy. This world is not perfect. This world is full of evils that you never want to imagine could reach out and touch you or the people that you love. It’s just not new.
I’m TRUMPED out. I don’t want to hear about it anymore. I am a supporter of people and tolerance…of acceptance…of the observance and blending of cultures…of never ceasing to learn from others…of giving chances. I don’t wish for this man to fail. I wish for him to succeed because let’s face it — he is about to be our president and he will be “running” the country. I just hope that he does it right and that the people in his circle are for the people not just a select few.
Guess who is a NEW mommy — again? 11/16/16 @ 4:33AM my fiance and I welcomed into the world a handsome little boy named Cameron – 6lbs 6oz 19 3/4″ long! I’d show you pictures but if you’re not on FB/instagram/snapchat (lol) you’ll have to wait for me to decide to post. I’ve felt such a sense of peace and love since his arrival. I can finally sit back and take a look at everything that has been ongoing in my life and really appreciate all that God has blessed me with.
I’m ready for the next adventure that is about to begin…