I came across the featured photo while scrolling through my FB timeline and it just spoke to me. I’ve been there. That person in the relationship that is carrying the brunt of it while the other person is seemingly just coasting. I’ve been the one that has tapped out and is just waiting for the final fallout while the other is holding on to dear life trying to pick up the extra weight so that we can persevere.
How do we get into these unbalance relationships? What is the appropriate load to carry? When do you both decide that it is either time to just put it down and walk away or to continue on and make it work?
WORK. Relationships are work. You will not wake up every day 110% in love with your mate. It just does not happen that way. Steve Harvey may have said it best. I may love you every day but I am not in love every day. Emotions ebb and flow. Every single moment of every day you will not hear the birds chirp and feel the butterflies swarming at the sight of the one that you love. We have arguments, disagreements, spats – we will not always see eye to eye. So in these instances does the balance shift?
When I first saw this picture I thought of these completely uneven relationships. One person thinks that this is for life and the other just isn’t ready yet. One is all in but the other has one foot out of the door. This isn’t always the case though. A lot of times this relationship is for life but you cannot always pull your weight. Life will intervene.
I think what we should really take from this is that sometimes the balance will shift. Some days you may have nothing on your end of it to handle while your partner is footing everything. You can’t expect it to always be 100/100 – and I say 100/100 instead of 50/50 because you don’t want to bring half of what you are to the table. You BOTH have to be in 100%. Your partner should be your rock and you should be theirs as well because sometimes things will go wrong. Sometimes they will need your shoulder. You should make it a regular practice to check in with the person you love and not just when things feel like they are off kilter. Sometimes people suffer in silence and just because you feel like you should be able to tell one another everything that doesn’t mean that is what is happening.
Pride can get in the way.
Not wanting to overload the other person may get in the way.
Money is tighter than what it has previously been.
Work has gone from being a breeze to completely stressing you out.
When things get too heavy how do you balance the load? How do you pick up the slack? How do you keep the train on the tracks both as a couple and when you just cannot function as anything but apart?