There is peace in the silence and in today’s boisterous world we should be embracing that silence more and more. A lovely friend of mine taught me a long time ago the power in being alone. Not the kind of single ladies in mourning kind of alone. Just regular every day out in the world existing without feeling the pressure to have someone present with you along the way. If you cannot tolerate to be alone with yourself how can you expect someone else to be able to tolerate you?
What she taught me to do was to, in a sense, date myself.
In a world where every moment is spent with other people or staying connected to other people via social media sometimes you need to disconnect. You need to be able to go out into the world and not depend on someone else’s presence. You want to go to dinner? Go to dinner. You don’t need to ring up a friend to accompany you. Just go do it alone. Take a book. Enjoy your glass of wine at your table and be by yourself.
A new movie out? Go see it alone. Need to detox? Go to the park, go for a walk, experience the outdoors and do it solo.
Yes, we live in a crazy world. Keep your phone on you. Let someone know your whereabouts. Just make time for yourself. Uninterrupted casual time.
Couples make plans to go out and do something together once a month. You should always be dating one another. Fulfilling one another. You should do the same thing with yourself. Remember that you are a single entity that needs to be able to renew alone. Center yourself. Find your peace.
A lot of us lose our identities in all of the dueling roles we play in life. You are NOT just a wife. You are not just a mother, daughter, friend, colleague. You are YOU and you need to remember who you are outside of all of that and be confident enough in yourself to tolerate who you are, to be happy and comfortable with you are, without the influence or impact of another human being.
Reclaim your you time and re-identify what it is that makes you happy. If you’ve gotten so caught up in the day to day you should now go out and find new things. Enroll in a class whether it be something creative, physical, or stimulating in another way. Take up golfing or hiking. Wine tasting.
Sushi, solo, is great.
I’ll take the corner seat next to the window.