Open Letter: It’s Above Me Now

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Open Letter: It’s Above Me Now

I don’t have to dignify any of this with a response but I choose to because it is very evident that your narrative is spreading like an infection and you don’t know when to stop. I WAS YOUR FRIEND. To this day I still do not wish anything bad on you. The reason, because ultimately there are many, that I stopped talking to and responding to you is that I told you multiple times that I was hurt by your increasing distance when I left the state to further my career which was evident as you slipped deeper into your new relationship. I understand the honeymoon stage. We are all guilty of it. Due to the fact that we were so close and you KNOWING that I don’t routinely voice my feelings it sent a definite message that despite having to say, “hey, you’re hurting my feelings” on multiple occasions, you apologizing for being a shitty friend (your words, not mine) that I still found myself consistently calling you. If I did NOT call you then there would be a week or more that would pass before you’d realize we hadn’t spoken and then you’d be quick to call to apologize for being a shitty friend, we’d talk a few days, and then the same pattern would repeat. That’s hurtful and exhausting and, yes, I gave up.

Your memory is short.

You have the audacity to vent your frustrations about it to mutual friends of ours. When I finally react to it you want to call me in a huff when you couldn’t pick up to call me prior. Then you post a FB message talking about when you realize that you never had a friend at all…what reaction did you THINK would follow? Your partner in crime cosigning it, after all the things that WE have sat through? You best believe that was an immediate disconnect.

I helped you through one of the most difficult things in your life. You and your family essentially were at my house day and night. I didn’t complain about it because I loved you and your kids and I would never wish anything bad to happen to you. The situation was ONE of the many factors that impacted my relationship as I had less time with my own significant other. You essentially shifted me into the vacancy you had. I don’t mean ANY of this to be hurtful, that is not my intention, and if I had it to do over again I still would because you were my sister and that’s the job and when roles reversed you were there for me. You support one another. So the audacity to say we were never friends…? Miss me with that bullshit.

You’ve done some truly shady shit that I NEVER would have done to you which I never called you out on. I stayed your friend. You have repeatedly questioned WHY certain thing have happened for me and not for you which on the receiving end feels like you don’t think I’m worthy of or deserving of it. I work hard and no one has GIVEN me anything. Someone I worked with moved ahead and opened a door for me. I had to walk through it. I had to perform. There were no favors.

Let’s face facts. THANK YOU for all of your support when I shifted into my new position. Thank you for spending time on the phone with me to make sure I understood processes that I had never encountered before. You were my lifeline and I appreciate every moment that you devoted to me.

I do repeat though that your memory is short. We supported one another. Anything we’ve ever developed together, to this day, I still tell whoever that THIS PART was done by you or this tool is 100% her. SHE is a genius at X, Y, and Z and even though I do not speak to her anymore this is the person that you should reach out to. I do not belittle or take credit for anything that you have done. You should know me by now. I keep receipts. Please do not infer that you made me or that anything that I have created was a product of someone else. You know that infuriates me. My phone number has not changed so if you want to have it out – let’s go – but don’t play the tag along game with other people for an audience.

I am sorry if I hurt you but you are not a victim. You’re one of the smartest individuals that I know. Get yourself out of it.

NOW, we’re not friends.

RaeOvSun
nakia.harlan@icloud.com
1 Comment
  • Lila
    Posted at 02:04h, 15 October Reply

    DAAAAMMMNNNN THAT WAS DEEP BUT SO MTFKN TRUE

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