Reconfiguration: Its Deeper Than Expected

Reconfiguration: Its Deeper Than Expected

Rebuilding sucks.

You don’t know where to begin but you know that you have to start. It’s the opportunity to do something different but it allows for the opportunity to get stuck in your head because you have so many ideas on what you want to do that it’s hard to focus. In the background I am playing with files, generating a writing hub, and attempting to recover as many of the book reviews that I completed as possible so that they can be reposted on the site. I’m reconfiguring my content and the things that I want to share as a result.

I’ve been working on work/life balance. That statement alone in itself is a whole issue though, is it not? WORKING on work/life balance? That essentially indicates that there is no balance at all but I’m hell bent on drawing the line in the sand and maintaining it. No one thing can have 100% of your time and energy. I can be a boss without the business dictating my every waking moment. I started with removal of all of the work-related applications from my phone. No one should have that much access to me and I shouldn’t default to the start and end of my day consisting of feverishly checking my emails.

I’m “unavailable”. It’s a thing.

Control Issues

I cannot control every aspect of my career nor should I want to. I shouldn’t want to be so heavily involved that I cannot catch my own breath. I shouldn’t surround myself with the should haves and the should-nots or find myself drowning in the sea of not being able to make other people happy. Who is looking out for MY happiness or ensuring that they are meeting MY expectations?

All of this may sound like giving up but truly it is not. It is redirection and refocus. I cannot give my all to a project if I am burning out at both ends. I have to take time for myself. I have to say “no”. I have to use my PTO because it’s doing nothing for me sitting there in a cash out bank that stops accrual at 200 hours. I have to disconnect.

My current leader asked a very poignant question.

“What, for you, is a great day?”

-My fearless leader.

I started talking about the flow of the business, great KPIs, amazing employee morale and happy customers. My leader’s follow up question was,

“Why is your definition of a great day work?”

-He strikes again…

That hit me. I’ve bounced back and forth since then on forcing myself to take time out for self and family and submerging myself in work.

Familiar With Chaos

After so much exposure to it we tend to get used to operating within chaos. It can become out safety blanket. The melodramas at work are great for talks around the hypothetical water cooler. We trash one another’s choices and make running jokes. We get caught up in being so upset and negative all of the time that we don’t even realize we have the option to not engage in it. I can tell you for certain that I came into my new facility with nothing but positive intent. It didn’t take long though for the negative energy of others to infiltrate and bring me down with it.

Being above it all is not a real thing. What is real, however, is seeing the error in your own ways and creating new boundaries for yourself. I am not going to allow others to vex my spirit. It will not be an overnight event. It will take some time but I will be putting measures into place to facilitate this.

  1. I will not be available 24-hours of the day. I am paid (salary or not) for 8 hours a day, 40 hours per week. What this translates into is that when I am OFF of work, I am OFF of work. There are people that are paid to assist. This means that when another manager is in the building they have the same training that I do to be able to make executive decisions. My phone should not be a hotline. They are capable.
  2. When I’ve had enough, it is ENOUGH. When I feel that I have given enough, it is is ENOUGH. I do not have to overextend myself because I already by default give it everything that I’ve got. I do not have to take on verbal abuse, sarcasm, raised tones, because others have not figured out how to manage their own emotions. I am only responsible for managing mine. Violators will be asked to leave and if that is not honored, TOLD, and if it continues – SECURITY!
  3. It is not my job to make another person happy. That comes from within.
  4. MY happiness matters.
  5. I MATTER.
You know what that is? Growth.

What’s Understood Need Not Be Explained

A lot of my l.ist shouldn’t need to be explained but I find myself constantly having to repeat this to other people. The change that will occur going forward is walking away from things that do not serve me. Heard that before right? If my words no longer work and I am TELLING you straight out what is and is not acceptable in my life and it is not respected then I must leave. I will no longer allow you access to my life or to my world.

All of this has been said to say this. I am reconfiguring my little website for ME. I am reconfiguring my life for ME.

RaeOvSun
nakia.harlan@icloud.com
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